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What To Do When You Hate Your Life

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Are you currently in a space where you basically hate your life and everything about it?

“I hate my life” is a common way of feeling.

A sad fact is that there are many people who find themselves hating their lives, feeling they are trapped in a dark, black hole surrounded by pain and turmoil, with no idea what to do to alter their current circumstances. They feel lost and helpless.

Hating life turns into “I hate myself, I’m no good, I’m so stupid, or I’m worthless.”

Now I’m going to state the obvious, there has to be more to life than this, and there is. If you have found your way here because you typed into a search engine the phrase ‘when you hate your life’ then let me help you to make a start in turning your life around.

Alas no matter the wonderful opportunities facing you, the smallest things just knock you down. You see only the worst and believe that things are never going to change.

Escaping from this negative disempowering state may feel impossible. Yet we are not doomed, and we are not powerless. No matter what our circumstances, we can all do something to help us emerge from the darkest moments in our lives.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

Life can and is hard and tough and painful at times, but you have it within you to breakthrough to a better place. This is something you must try. Today I’ll provide an exercise that will help you when you hate your life.

Life is precious, and you can’t afford to waste your time in desperation, self-pity, or blaming yourself or someone else for that your life is not what you wanted it to be. You can’t allow your worries and problems to eat away at you leading to hating life and feeling ready to burst.

So, what can we do to live a life where we instead of hating life are loving it? Learning to enjoy what you have now while fighting for what you want.

I know there’s no getting away from the fact that sometimes life’s tough and it seems things keep going wrong. But shit happens.

I’m not here to judge you for hating life, feeling stuck, powerless and miserable, but I can tell you it’s possible to turn it around, and create a life that makes you feel inspired and empowered. Realising your personal power is within you.

You have to begin by turning off your negative filter.

“I have found that if you love life, life will love you back.” Arthur Rubinstein

Try this exercise.


Sometimes the best thing you can do is let it out your emotions, anger, worry, disappointment, fear. Keeping things that are making you hate life all bottled up is neither helpful to getting out of that cycle nor healthy for your overall wellbeing. Cry, scream, punch a pillow, whatever. Don’t suppress it anymore. This can be pretty intense and you might scare yourself a bit, but just let it rip. No one else has to know about it, it’s just you.

“I have always preferred to keep things to myself rather than sharing them with anyone, but I am learning that if you let it go, you feel better for it. Don’t keep it all bottled up inside; don’t take it all on alone.” Luis Suarez


If you really want to break away from this debilitating feeling when you hate your life and start moving towards a happier, better place, you have to be truly honest with yourself and assess your situation. Grab yourself a notebook, a journal, a diary, a bit of paper, whatever, and just start writing down the things you hate about your life. Be specific. You can’t make true, lasting change if you are not willing to be brutally honest with how you are feeling and what is making you feel that way. No longer can you afford to deny your feelings, or refuse too deeply investigate why you are unhappy with your life. So, take this first step, take as long as you need, and make a list of things you hate about your life. Again, I say be specific and get down as much detail as you can.


Now it is time for you to begin boosting your motivation. Don’t let those feelings when you hate your life make you think negatively with this step. List the positive things you want to add to your life in the future. These are not things you want to change, just things you want to have, be or do. Maybe you want to achieve more in your career and relationships. It’s the things you want on your bucket list. If you haven’t heard the term “bucket list”, it is a list of all the goals you want to achieve, dreams you want to fulfill and life experiences you desire to experience before you die. So, list everything you want in the future. If you don’t live your days chasing personal goals, chances are you spend most of your time caught up in a flurry of day-to-day activities and yes find life’s struggles cause you hating life. Your bucket list can keep you going with motivation and excitement.

“There is a LIGHT in this world. A healing spirit more powerful than any darkness we may encounter. We sometime lose sight of this force when there is suffering, and too much pain. Then suddenly, the spirit will emerge through the lives of ordinary people who hear a call and answer in extraordinary ways.” Richard Attenborough


Building on from the previous step create a picture of your future. Think about what you would like your life to be like—like, if you could wave a magic wand and just create it. Ask yourself what you want your ideal life to be ten, fifteen or twenty years out. Then write down every detail of your ideal future life. Be very specific in the details: the income you earn, the house you live in, the relationships you’re in, the car you drive, the money you earned, etc. This script of your ideal life will become the blueprint by which you construct your new life. Write down whatever comes to mind without censoring it, judging it or modifying it to make it more ‘feasible.’ If it pops in your mind, just write it down. Doesn’t matter how silly it seems, how small or how whatever, just get it down because it has significance for you.

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” Eleanor Roosevelt


You need to determine what needs to change in order to bring about improvement in your life. Many people are not happy with their life. Yet they continually carry on never trying to bring about change. If you are not happy with your relationships, career choices, financial situation and other aspects of your life then change is what’s required. Look at each of the factors resulting in why you hate your life and ask yourself what needs to change. Write as many answers as come to your mind. Then choose the four that you feel are the most important. These are what you need to focus on.

“Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” Barack Obama


Your self-talk has significant influence in your life. Negative self talk is a major contributor to general anxiety. When you say that something is bad, you will – either consciously or not – develop a negative attitude toward it. You can test, challenge and change your self-talk. You can change some of the negative aspects of your thinking by challenging the irrational parts and replacing them with more reasonable thoughts. Now, you are going to look at each of the reasons you hate your life, and come up with some ideas for more positive thoughts to replace the negative inner talk. But don’t go to the completely opposite extreme – keep it believable for you.

“Peace is a daily, a weekly, a monthly process, gradually changing opinions, slowly eroding old barriers, quietly building new structures.” John F. Kennedy


You can have everything you want in life as long as you begin to take action to put right those things you hate. There is no right and wrong time to start. Start working right away! Work towards your goal and work towards your success. Your long-term objectives’ should be clear to you from your ideal future life and having clear and precise long-term objectives ensures you head in the right direction towards your ultimate goals, so they are key to everything you do.

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” Samuel Beckett

No matter where you are in life, it’s important to remember that you can make a wonderful life. Human beings are incredible. You can get through the toughest of times, but things will get better. You must search within yourself to find the courage to rise to your greatest potential. When you hate your life your priority must be to find ways to fall in love with life over and above anything else.

“You can stay on the path you want and suck it up and endure it … or you can completely change your life.” Elizabeth Gilbert

If you liked this post, please like it, tweet it, pin it and share it to spread more happiness and inspiration around those you love.

Want to create a life plan to ensure you no longer are asking yourself what to do when you hate your life ? Let me coach you! Let me help you make progress on your goals and your life! Let’s connect and find out whether I can help you through a free introductory life coaching session.

photo credit: chiaralily Despair via photopin (license)


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About the author: Larry Lewis
I'm Larry. As an Executive Life Coach, entrepreneur and writer, I am an unshakable optimist dedicated to helping you become the person you most want to be. I am devoted to sharing ideas, tools and resources that will help you create a better, stress free, well balanced life.

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