What happens if past emotional baggage is not properly resolved and forgiven?
Dysfunction from the past that is not dealt with prevents people from moving on and they end up dragging it as a heavy load through all of their future. It’s like you’re limiting yourself by having a ball and chain tied to your ankles.
There are so many ways to feel relief from those negative emotions you have carried forward with you from the past. Whichever one you choose, it’s important for you to start bringing about change so your future to allow it to be all that it is meant to be. You cannot allow it to continuously drip feed poison through your mind and life, because that’s what it is currently doing.
Lives grind to a halt when people don’t know how to release the hold from their past. Some believe “the past is nothing” and attempt to suppress their nightmares again and again. Others miss out on renewal and change by making the past more important than their present and future. Neither approach allows you to move life forward and develop the life of your dreams experiencing success and happiness.
I’m currently coaching a variety of people dramatically effected by events from their past. What has been clear to me is that unless they come to terms with the fact that it is time to move on, their future will always be dramatically limited due to these memories or nightmares they have carried with them.
We all have shrapnel from our past that needs to be identified, dealt with, and resolved. There are land mines from our personal history that are ready to explode when triggered by stress or memories. These nightmares have not been deleted and to a great extent our present personal health and vitality is controlled by them.
“That is the way it is with a wound. The wound begins to close in on itself, to protect what is hurting so much. And once it is closed, you no longer see what is underneath, what started the pain.” Amy Tan, The Joy Luck Club
We must deal with the broken areas in our life, before we can go on to concentrating on building and developing our lives in the future. The past although needing to stay in the past has to be dealt with so these memories haunt you no longer. Of course you can’t prevent them from happening, take away the effect they’ve had on you to this point, but you can say enough is enough I won’t allow you to affect me a second longer.
How do we move on from the past and help others to do the same? We cannot change or relive the past, but we can redeem it and learn from it. The perception and feelings we hold of our history affect our present life journey. Redeem the past, turning our emotional baggage into opportunities for growth and effectiveness. Reflect on it, so as to understand the past and seek resolution and healing. In this healthy way, we will learn and grow from it.
A powerful method to set this process in action is to share your life story and decide what it is you have come to realise that not only can you use to improve your own life but help others come to terms with their similar paths.
We all have in some way been scarred by the past. But some people experience deeper scars and brokenness that must be dealt with. If they are to move on, they must deliberately explore what they feel, and why they feel the way they do about their history. This act of simply identifying and labeling their emotions serves as an amazing springboard to personal growth, self insight, and maturity. Writing your life story is a powerful way to get this journey started, at its conclusion you will be much the wiser and ready to move forward.
Once you have dealt with yours look for opportunities to help others, offer them the support that will change their life.
So one of the most powerful tools to really get over your past is to retell your story the way it should be, as heroic survivor instead of as victim.
Allowing yourself to rewrite your life story can be liberating. You can finally be objective about what is and is not working for you, without shame or judgment. You can work on coming up with solutions to your problems rather than pretending they don’t exist or that they will magically resolve themselves. And most important, you can rewrite your life story into one that makes you feel proud.
Are you willing to do this?